I have read some commentaries in the past in which the authors have felt that etiquette and manners are practically a thing of the past and that gratitude has been all-but forgotten.
I was reminded of this the other day when one of my kids teachers thanked me for sending them a thank you card for a Christmas gift they gave my child. I was a little surprised and found it kind of funny to be thanked for a thank-you card but was completely taken aback when she told me that she had never received a thank-you card for a Christmas gift she had given. I couldn't believe it! She is a teacher and I imagine gives her students a gift every year at Christmas. No thank-you card, ever??? Ever since that conversation I have not been able to get this off my mind - hence this blog post.
Now, let me pause and clarify that I, by NO means, an exemplary person in etiquette and manners. In fact I think back to several faux-pas and cringe. Did I really do that???? And there will certainly be many more to come. I do feel very strongly about thank-you cards but sometimes do let them fall through the cracks (umm, I still have a to-do list to write thank you cards from Chase's 1st birthday almost 6 months ago! Don't I get a year? :)) I know I have much to improve upon and I was actually very glad for the little reminder about how important it is.
And now for my soapbox speech....and again - my disclaimer - this is how I feel but definitely do not always take action with this. This is my ideal and how I would LOVE to be operating - not how I actually do operate! I feel like a hand-written thank-you note is always not only appropriate, but the best way of expressing gratitude for something someone has done for you. Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when someone has taken the time to actually sit down and write out a note? I am always so touched when I receive a note expressing thanks - it truly makes my day, often my week. How exciting is it to get the mail and sort through the piles of fliers, catalogs and bills and to find a hand-written note in the pile. It's like finding a buried treasure. Maybe it's my current station in life - there's isn't an abundance of gratitude in my current "job", so maybe I am thirsty for a little verbal love once in a while :). Also, I have noticed that a hand-written note seems so much more meaningful than an email or text. Don't misunderstand - words are words and have the same weight regardless of their method of delivery. Maybe because a hand-written note is so much more work - finding a card, writing, addressing an envelope, finding a stamp and dropping it in the mail - knowing that someone went to all that effort adds a little exclamation mark to the enclosed words. Also, I do save some thank-you cards and I have I don't ever print out emails to include in my file.
I also feel thank-you cards should not be limited to physical gifts. Aren't the best gifts you receive people's time, talents and efforts? I once read someone's opinion that if someone spend more than 15 minutes doing something for you, a hand-written thank-you card is proper etiquette. I think I must be really lucky but I could truly write at least a few thank-you cards every week. If I think about all of the wonderful talks and lessons I am privy to each week on Sunday, the kind, thoughtful encounters I have with friends and family, the wonderful examples I see of others extending love and service to those around them. The opportunities are limitless. I have started keeping a stack of thank-you cards and a book of stamps in my top desk drawer to remind me to use them. I wish I used them more. I can't count the times I have thought to send one but don't. I feel very disappointed about the many opportunities I have missed to let someone know that they have touched my life in some way. I don't think we realize the long lasting impact a few kind words can have. I have a stack of cards I save and every once in a while if I am looking in my files for something and come across them it is such a joy to re-read them.
I want some feedback from you. Has it been your experience that etiquette - in particular thank-you cards - is on the decline? Is it old-fashioned? Necessary? How about an email or text vs. a hand-written note? I would love you to weigh in on this.